Drawing Closer to God

When Heather Holdsworth lost her parents, she met God with a pencil and sketchpad. Ten years later, when COVID-19 sentenced her to three years on the couch, she did the only thing she could still do: draw God’s Word.

Now, as a published author, speaker, and long COVID-19 survivor, Heather speaks about the time she spent close to death, her miraculous healing, and drawing closer to the God who gave her strength and courage through it all.

Building a rock-solid foundation

Heather’s father taught at Bible colleges—first near Cape Town, South Africa, and then in Scotland—so Heather grew up surrounded by passionate believers.

“I still remember watching the students and thinking ‘They're angels, and I want to be like them,’” Heather says.

But as a teenager, her desire to be an angel was overruled by her desire to be “cool.” One night, after Heather had told a friend about a church-free weekend, her father read aloud about Peter’s denial.

“It just struck so deeply and I was thinking, ‘I denied all knowledge, and actually, Jesus is who I want,’” Heather remembers. Right then, she gave her whole life to Christ. “I wanted to follow Jesus closely. I wanted to know Him more.”

Answering an unexpected call

She entered adulthood with an insatiable desire to know Jesus. In 1997, she married Adrian. He was a physicist, she was a teacher, and for some time they pursued successful careers in Cambridge, England. But something wasn’t right. They’d both been praying about their strange discontent for a year when they heard a knock on the door. Literally.

“The minister came to our house and said, ‘You need to give up your day jobs, and you need to go and train for full-time Christian work,’” Heather says. “So we did, without hesitation.”

They moved to Scotland in 2004 to study at The Faith Mission Bible College in Edinburgh. In 2007, after a year in England as evangelists, they crossed the ocean to attend Moody Theological Seminary, Heather for her MA in Spiritual Formation and Discipleship, Adrian for his Master of Divinity.

“I still remember us walking into Torrey Gray,” Heather says. “And my husband and I looking at the auditorium and bursting into tears and saying, ‘There are this many people who want to follow Jesus and study His Word? How is this possible?’”

During her first semester, Heather took a class on biblical spirituality with Dr. Bill Thrasher. The beauty and honesty of his teaching stayed with her as well as the community in his class. Even now, Dr. Thrasher has fond memories of her.

“Heather is from an amazing Christian heritage and is such a gifted discipler, artist, and musician,” Dr. Thrasher says. “Any hyperbole that could be added would not be enough.”

Drawing with words

While Heather and Adrian were in Chicago, Heather’s father passed suddenly, and shortly after they returned to Scotland, her mother died. Heartbroken, Heather struggled with her personal devotions.

“I couldn't retain what I'd read in the morning in Scriptures,” she says. “And that was the very time that you really want to have Scripture in your heart and in your mind the whole way through the day.”

So, she tried something different: drawing with words. A gifted artist, having studied at the Leith School of Art in Edinburgh, Heather’s process included consulting commentaries and different Bible versions and studying the structure, movement, and words in the verse to communicate the meaning.

“Through all of this an image emerges, and I cannot tell you how much it strengthens and satisfies and brings such joy.”

Life resettled, and Heather continued drawing as they ministered and lectured at Bible colleges and churches around Scotland.

‘A sin against the church of Christ’

Then in March 2020, Heather contracted COVID-19, and everything screeched to a halt. Because of her asthma, she was high risk—and for a while, they weren’t sure if she would make it.

During the first 10 months, she couldn’t speak. For the next three years, she couldn’t walk more than a few steps without help or rest, or complete simple tasks like unloading the dishwasher.

Adrian stopped working to pursue another PhD and take care of her.

“I thought, ‘What shall I do?’” Heather remembers. “And I thought, ‘Well, I can draw, and I can read the Bible, and I can be in the presence of Jesus.’”

So she did. Starting with the Psalms of lament, she spent five or six hours a day sitting with the Lord, studying, and drawing.

One day, Heather’s sister said it was time to share her art. Heather disagreed; these drawings were between her and the Lord. But her sister put her foot down.

“She got really cross,” Heather says, smiling as she recounts the conversation. “She said, ‘It's a sin against the church of Christ for you to keep the gift God has given just for you and not for everybody else.’ She went on and on!”

Overwhelming response

Heather began sharing her drawings on social media, only to be overwhelmed by the response.

“I think it was because people didn't feel preached at,” Heather says. “It brought the barriers down because they could ponder and wonder and talk about it.”

Soon, friends told her to publish, and “to get people off my back,” Heather sent a book proposal of her art and thoughts on Psalms to two Christian publishers. Moody Publishers said “Yes!” first, and when Heather learned of the SFR—the Spirit Filled Room, where the publications committee seeks God’s guidance and blessing for each book—she was convinced, and they moved forward with her book.

Meanwhile, Heather had started going into the sea in Scotland for its therapeutic properties. Day after day, as she struggled into the water, she built relationships with fellow sea-goers as they talked about faith and meaning in life, something that doesn’t often happen in Scotland’s post-Christian culture.

An unexpected miracle

At the beginning of 2023, with a book launch scheduled for September, Heather was prepared to spend the rest of her life weak, tired, and short of breath. But when someone prayed for her at an ordinary conference in February, God saw fit to give an immediate answer.

“I was healed through the prayer of a stranger,” Heather says. “It was instantaneous.” One day, she couldn’t walk more than a few steps at a time. The next day, she was well.

As her restored health held steady, people noticed. Friends that she’d made at the sea, medical professionals dumbfound by her overnight transformation, started asking questions—about how she had been healed, about her art, and about her Jesus.

When her book, Landscape of Hope, launched, many of Heather’s new friends attended the event. They were eager to support her and learn more about her faith.

In Landscape of Hope, Heather shares her drawings from the first 14 Psalms and takes us on an intimate journey with God. Through artwork and commentary, she examines passages that have become familiar—perhaps too familiar, to many of us—and reveals their soul-strengthening, heart-restoring power.

And now, after three long years on the couch, she is grateful, not disappointed.

“I wouldn’t swap it—oh, now I’m getting all teary—I wouldn’t swap it,” Heather says, rubbing her eyes. “It was very, very difficult, but I learned so much about God in the deep theology in the Psalms. It was beautiful.”